sandstorm

i was down with a cold two weekends ago and i attributed it to the sandstorm that oftentimes plagues this part of the world. i remember several months before at the bus stop, waiting for the bus (that usually doesn't come on time) for, i guess, almost two hours and the next thing i knew, i was sneezing and coughing for days.

others may have gotten used to "swimming in the sandstorm" but it has never been a boon for some people (especially me) other than the obvious tourist who gets awestruck (or in this case, "sandstruck") by it. it carries dust and small particles that get into the eyes, cause pimples and all sorts of respiratory tract infections and add inconvenience to an already-inconvenient life.

as i enumerated all the sandstorm's bad virtues in my head, i then got to pondering over the past and present sandstorms in my life. i remember feeling deserted, lost and alone, never knowing which step to take, whom to trust.

how many times have i cried with only my bedroom wall as sole witness? how many times have i asked Him for direction, for purpose --- for at least, a little inner peace?

i manage to cope up every single day but every now and then, i find myself cursing this country and some circumstances surrounding my daily existence for bringing out the worst in me. i've never known i'm capable of transforming myself from a carefree individual one second to a bitch the next. it's a complete revelation to me that my feelings and inner thoughts can dip and swerve so...

then the rainbow begins to peek out from behind a curtain of clouds just when you think it isn't there, decides to stay a little longer, bringing with it a feeling of contentment and gratefulness, and disappears again.

one thing's certain: life's sandstorms accord us wisdom, and cement and gradually build up that tiny bud of fortitude because as long as we're alive, life goes on...