masked / unmasked

it's evening once again.

i look myself in the mirror and apply cream on my face, each time dabbing away the variety of masks i wear during the day: smiley mask upon waking up in the morning to welcome a new day and to anticipate a hassle-free workflow in the office; a courage mask on the way to work to protect myself from insults and ostracism; a faith mask hoping that the day would end like i always wanted it to be - smooth, harmonious, spat-free, etc.

oftentimes though, careless and tactless judgments hurled against my person quickly cause the mask to break into tiny pieces and me to dissolve into tears.

slowly, it dawns on me that i'm only human, with true feelings, without a heart of stone.

i soon realize that i don't have to wear several masks to cover what's hidden inside. that i don't have to live my life according to what others perceive it to be. that i have to let my individuality or uniqueness shine through. that i don't have to suffer in silence just to please everybody. that i have the freedom not to conform to what society or people dictate me and not to compromise my ideals and principles. that i don't have to reduce myself to hypocrisy and lots of ass-kissing to earn goodwill and "pogi" points from someone. that i don't have to stoop down and become somebody's lapdog. no way, jose!

whether people like it or not, this is me and i wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's. so, it's either they bear with me and my full-of-contradictions / consistently-inconsistent personality or they better leave me alone, mind their own business and let peace reign.

don't coax me to bend to your unreasonable, unprofessional and partial rules which have nothing to do with work, i'd stay ten feet away from them. don't even utter chocolate-coated words to entice me to say "yes" to all your demands, they're nonsense and i tell you, i only kneel before Him. and, there's no use of pulling my leg, i'm not that gullible!

oh, it's evening once again. i turn my back on the mirror and proceed to my bed with a peaceful heart knowing that whenever i am judged harshly, i can always run to Him, imperfections and all, because He is always there not to make judgments but to pick me up and ease my burden...